Sarah Palin Resigns, Accepts Job Suited to her Talents
Monday, July 27, 2009 at 1:42PM
Sarah Palin officially resigned as Governor of Alaska earlier today, moving on to a profession more suited to her abilities. Todd Palin declined to comment.
Sarah Palin has officially stepped down as Governor of Alaska, a state she elevated from unknown to embarrassing. A throng of deluded well-wishers gathered to listen as she challenged the media to "stop making stuff up" and focus on her actual failures as opposed to imaginary ones. While her future remains somewhat unclear, it is believed that she will eventually move beyond state politics and attempt to ruin things on a national level.
Palin stated she will spend her newly acquired free time advancing the Republican cause, advocating for Alaska, and finding the country of Africa on "one of those fancy map balls."