Before there were HMOs

Ah, the good old days when any seven year-old with two bits could cure his bronchial irritations with little more than a firm drag on a tiny tube of Flavor Country.  At a time when the entire nation is embroiled in a health care debate, let us not forget that there is a miracle cure for all that ails society:  cigarettes.  Minors, when tey turn you away at Super America, just tell them that Dr. Batty sent you.  Also, why not give Dr. Batty's Pediatric Opium a try.  It's the finest cholic-curing opium available.  Just look for the poppy on the label, and you'll know your baby will be fuss-free for days and days.