I just saw the Dr. Pepper Cherry commercial starring Fergie of The Black-Eyed Peas. I can only descirbe her wardrobe as the Elvira, Mistress of the Night Maternity Collection. It seems the core message of the commercial is that Dr. Pepper Cherry causes bloating and jowliness.
Apparently, someone showed her a photo negative of Gwen Stefani circa 1999 and she just decided to run with it. All I can say is that if Mr. Pepper truly is a doctor, this ad must somehow violate the Hippocratic Oath. Somehwere, Josh Duhamel is cowering in a corner, praying for the nightmare to stop.
This actually might have been more appealing if they had gotten Taboo, but apparently he can only appear in physical form if you first watch a black and white video tape that ends with a glowing ring.
Show me any scenario where you wake up and see the thing pictured above at the foot of your bed and you do anything other than soil yourself and start reciting the rosary. I dare you.
How could you, Dr. Pepper? How could you? I'm not mad. I'm just...disappointed.