Michael Jackson Buried in Cement to Prevent "Thrillerization"

Scientists fear Jackson's remains would make a truly formidable zombie, as parts of him will never, ever decompose.In a move to protect public health and safety, Michael Jackson's corpse will be buried in cement to prevent what scientists are calling "potential Thrillerization."  Los Angeles Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa has ordered that Jackson be laid to rest in no less than eight feet of highway-grade, rebar reinforced cement to prevent his emergence as an undead monster intent on rocking the flesh of the living.  Villaraigosa cited Jackson's classic Thriller video as more than just a pop culture icon, but also a cautionary tale of what happens when municipal interment standards are too lax.

Jackson is best know for his terrifying performance as a zombie in the epic Thriller video, and his even more terrifying performance as his best approximation of himself over the last ten years.  Ironically, while in later years much of Jackson was made of non-biodegradable polymers, other aspects of his body had already begun the biodegradation process in earnest.  Scientists and Buffy the Vampire Slayer fans alike fear that Jackon's remains would make a truly formidable zombie, as parts of him will never, ever decompose.

The Jackson family readily agreed to the mayoral edict, with father Joe Jackson offering to give Villaraigosa a "great deal" on the cement contracting.