CalebMcEwen.com

Jon Gosselin continues to defy the accepted laws of reality by somehow attracting women.  Now it seems that yet another Kate, Kate Majors, has come forward to claim that they are in a relationship.  The two can be seen below attempting to determine whose eyes are capable of appearing more vacant and corpse-like:

Notice how the wind is blowing her hair while his remains motionless? It's the pressure equalizing with the vaccum in her skull. Either that or NASA faked this photo.

Of course, Kate is a former tabloid reporter for The Star, which means this is a match made in hell.  In being linked to her, Jon gosselin has achieved the impossible:  he has managed to make Kate Gosselin look sympathetic.  He seems intent on destroying whatever semblance of good karma he has left in his life. If he were Hindu and actually believed in reincarnation, his punishment would probably be to come back as...well, to come back as himself--still married to Kate Gosselin.

The fun part of this is that his other girlfriend, Hailey Glassman, claims to not know about "new Kate."

Hailey Glassman, the other other woman.

Of course, Jon claims he isn't seeing Kate Majors, in much the same way he previously claimed he wasn't seeing Hailey Glassman, in much the same way he previously claimed that Kate Gosselin was a human with a soul.

Jon comtemplates how a simple quarter-turn to his right could change his life for the better. Meanwhile, Kate contemplates how many more drones she must spawn to build the hive and effectively defend it from Ripley and the Colonial Marines.

There is only one logical way this can progress to become any more ridiculous:  Jon Gosselin must marry Octomom.  When you think about it, it's inevitable.  Jon Gosselin, Kate Gosselin and Octomom:  three adults, twenty-two children, zero redeeming qualities.