CalebMcEwen.com

I've watched a couple of Asian entertainment offerings recently. I am again struck by how radically different the sensibilities of two hemispheres can be. We are separated by much more than an ocean.

First of all, I watched a short round of the G4 network's re-broadcasts of old Sasuke episodes, which G4 has repackaged as Ninja Warrior. Sasuke is a program which showcases the two things the Japanese people apparently love more than anything else--intense pain and watching other people fail publicly. For a being a German term, Schadenfreude certainly has a Japanese feel to it.

I am quite certain that the translations used for the subtitles have been massaged somewhat to appeal to the ironic senses of humor possessed by the G4 viewer demographic, but they're still awesome. I will share some of my favorites:

- "He has assumed the posture of ultimate defeat. The atmosphere contains tangible shame."

- "He lets out a rough bark of joy. Indeed, there is something primal about this Navy diver."

- "How did it feel to be carrying on your shoulders the hopes and dreams of so many children, only to drop them?"

- "He powers through the obstacles like a superhuman baby inent on total victory."

Absolutely awesome. I would watch more American sports if this were the type of commentary that accompanied them. It just doesn't get any better than that. Add to this the fact that Japanese game shows are less about winning and losing than they are about sheer survival, and you have the ultimate in entertainment.

Which brings me to the other Asian offering I viewed, The Host. This is a South Korean film, and it's quite good. The easiest way to sum it up is to say it's a "monster movie," but that's entirely insufficient. It's also a political satire, environmental commentary, and an astute family drama/comedy. There's a lot going on here. Asian movies are like Asian apartments--they pack a lot into limited space, with lots of multi-purpose areas.

In a quick summation of the plot, a monster appears on the banks of the Han River in Seoul and eats a lot of people. It also apparently takes a young girl alive. The young girl's dysfunctional extended family must then overcome their own failings as individuals and as a unit to save her. Their situation is made more difficult, however, when the American military declares that the monster may be the host of a deadly virus, and that anyone who has come in contact with the beast must be quarantined as the entire Han River is cordoned off. The family, and indeed all of Korea, is put on a collision course not just with the monster, but also with the U.S. and Korean governments.

The Host breaks one of the biggest monster movie conventions almost right off the bat. This is not Jaws, where you only catch glimpses of the monster after half the film is over. Oh no. You see the monster early and often. You see it in broad daylight. You see all of it. You see it moving and you see it sitting still. It's not a sneaky monster. It's a monster, it knows it's a monster, and it isn't afraid to let you know it's a monster. Why should it hide when it can swallow you whole?

SPOILER ALERT

However, The Host does not break the two major conventions of nearly all Asian films:

1. Americans are arrogant, evil and the source of all problems in the known universe.

The title of the movie could refer to more than just the monster's hosting of the virus, but also to the fact that Korea itself "hosts" the foreign body of the American military. Americans are pretty much pure, concentrated evil--to the point that some of them are actually deformed by their own malevolence.

We really did a number on Southeast Asia. First Godzilla and now this. They are the wronged girlfriend who cannot move on. I can't wait until forty years from now when all of the Middle Eastern films that are inspired by our occupation come out. Sheesh.

2. Anyone can die at any time.

Seriously. All of the sacred cows of American cinema who cannot die are offered up as so much monster fodder in this cinematic outing. Grandpa? Dead. Brother who is raising his young, orphaned sibling? Toast. Precocious schoolgirl who is the only truly likeable character in the film? Eaten.

It's awesome.

As I've always said, the difference between an American film and an Asian film is simple. In the American film, a baby is tied to the railroad tracks, a train is approaching, and someone swoops in and saves the baby. In an Asian film, the baby is ties to the tracks, the train is approaching, and someone still swoops in and saves the baby--but then they sharpen it and use it to stab another baby.

It keeps it interesting when you can't guess who's going to make it. I was genuinely shocked at the end of this film. The monster gets shot by multiple firearms, beaten with an iron pipe, poisoned, doused with gasoline and set on fire, shot through the eye with an arrow, and ultimately stabbed in the gullet. None of this is sufficient to save the little girl. I don't know if that's the greatest or the worst thing I've ever seen in the history of cinema, but you definitely don't see it coming.

END OF SPOILERS

I highly recommend The Host. The story is multi-faceted and has a lot to say on a number of issues. The effects are pretty amazing, especially considering how low the budget was in comparison to American films. It's a testament to what can be done by talented people, and to why Jerry Bruckheimer and Michael Bay shouldn't be allowed to have money.

Incidentally, I like to think that The Host and The Water Horse are the same script filmed by different cultures. Watch both movies and see if you agree.