A Stunning Blow

My son continues to amuse. A few days ago, my wife and I were discussing an article she had read concerning developmental milestones. In the article, a child blowing kisses was cited as a milestone, which I found odd, since it implied that all children are either taught to blow kisses or simply do so instinctively. I knew for a fact that we had not been training Isaac to blow kisses, and it seemed like the dumbest and least likely of innate behaviors. Blowing kisses would not have allowed primitive man to bring down a wooly mammoth--unless, of course, the aim was uncanny.

After discussing it, we decided to try blowing Isaac a kiss to see how he would respond. I was sitting on the couch and he was standing a few feet away. I called his name to get his attention, leaned over and blew him a kiss. He looked at me quizzically for a moment, so I did it again.

"Mmmmmmmmmmmmaaaahhhh!"

Isaac continued looking at me as though I were some kind of freak. Then, he walked over to me, raised his hand to his lips, and made the same sound..."Mmmmmmmmmmmaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhh!" Only instead of blowing a kiss, he licked his hand and slapped me across the face as hard as he possibly could.

Again, it was not a light tap. Isaac is built like a tiny linebacker, and he has a surprising grasp of leverage for a toddler. This was not the inexperienced strike of a child, this was a "where my money at" pimp-slap...only moist. I saw the "black lights" that boxers who have been knocked out speak of. So, at least for my son, distanced shows of affection are not instinctive, but sudden, unrestrained acts of violence are.

Hooray?