The Simple Equation for Peace

Today, I went to Grand Old Day in Saint Paul. I live in the neighborhood, so I really have no choice, as the festival essentially cannibalizes everything within ten blocks. You will be assimilated. Resistance is futile.

Grand Old Day used to be Grand Old Days, but the multi-day format proved to be too challenging, so boundaries were established.

As I was walking in the throngs of people tanning their tattoos, I saw a man carrying my favorite sign ever. I will present it to you exactly as I read it:

"BUY TICKET

WIN CANOE

END WAR"

There you have it. It's just that simple. Ticket Canoe = Peace. Finally we have an exit strategy! It's the silver bullet solution we've all been looking for!

I implore you to buy your ticket so we can get this magical canoe and unleash it's paddle-powered mojo upon the world! For the first time ever, you can easily be a part of the solution! Hooray!

Here are some other magical possibilities:

"TRADE FOR VOUCHER

OBTAIN SKI-DOO

CURE AIDS"

or

"RESERVE COUPON

INHERIT OCEAN LINER

PREVENT DATE RAPE"

Now is the time. Go forth and make it happen.