My Life in Hotels

If you know me or have spent any time reading this blog, then you know I travel a lot and spend a great deal of time in hotels. You also know that strange things tend to happen to me while in said hotels. The streak continues.

While I was checking in, I actually overheard this conversation next to me:

Desk Clerk: "Would you like smoking or non-smoking?"

Man: "Actually, I'd prefer smoking."

Desk Clerk: "I'm sorry, this is a totally smoke-free resort."

That exchange was so stupid, a part of my brain died just from overhearing it. I weep for our nation's future.

Next, I overheard this:

Manager: "These guys are with the Power and Water House group."

Man: "It's Price Waterhouse. It's the largest accounting firm in the world. It has over 142,000 employees worldwide, and we're currently occupying over half the rooms in this resort."

Manager: Sir, we get a lot of groups here--groups like John Deere."

HOW IS THAT ANSWER IN ANY WAY RELEVANT TO THE MAN'S STATEMENT?! Oh! I see! It's like this:

Hotel Previous Event Involving John Deere = Inability to Remember Name of Current Client

Now it makes perfect sense. His logic follows perfectly. Again, a part of my brain died.

Then, after I gave the guy at the desk my address, the piece de resistance...

Hotel Clerk: Sir, my computer isn't showing this...Saint Paul?

Me: Excuse me?

Hotel Clerk: (As if he thinks I'm making up the city in which I live.) I'm not getting any listing in my computer for a "Saint Paul".

(A pause as I contemplate how to deal with this.)

Me: Well, there is a Saint Paul. It's the capitol of Minnesota. I live there.

Desk Clerk: Oh! Saint Paul.

At this point, my brain exploded. I was in a resort in the dessert that was half full of auditors with the other half full of competitive cheerleaders. It was 110 degrees. There was a restaurant across the street called "Aunt Chilada's". I was done.

Of course, while I was in Arizona an enormous wildfire swept through the dessert. Luckily, the fire cooled things down a little bit.

Oh, and true to form, I was awakened in the middle of the night by the fire alarm going off in my room.

Hooray!